To My Mother – Doris Carlson

You couldn’t find two more different people than me and my mother. Pretty much through our whole lives if I said something was white, she said it was black. If I said we should go east, she said no west. We didn’t agree on much of anything, except the fact that we were both stubborn. (Did I actually admit to being stubborn?) There is a saying that someday you will have a child who is just like you. My mom didn’t get that. She got a child who was just like her own mother. I looked like my grandma, I acted like her, I was stubborn like her.

My mom set high standards. She wanted things done correctly (her way). That especially came to housework. The problem is that my mom expected me to know how to do it automatically. It didn’t come naturally to me, and it still doesn’t. I finally figured out a way to make it work, but I still didn’t live up to her standards.

While my mom wasn’t perfect, and we had our share of fights, we always forgave each other as soon as the fight was over. When I got married, my husband couldn’t believe that we could be arguing loudly, and five minutes later we were best friends again. If I didn’t know how to do something, I asked my mom. If I couldn’t remember something, I would ask my mom. That’s one of the things I miss most since she’s been gone. I could start to ask her a question, and she would know what I was asking and have the answer out before I even finished the question. I was the only person who could get her out of a mood. I would tease her because it’s hard to be upset when your laughing. Sometimes, I would agree with her and repeat back what she said. When it was coming from my mouth, she would realize that it came across as pretty negative.

My mom always looked younger than she was. When she was 70 people thought that maybe she was 60. I wish I had that problem. My mom made me tired. She could get more done in 15 minutes than I could get done in an hour.She never seemed to tire out.

A few years before she died, she climbed in the space under our house to thaw out our water pipes. The temperature was probably about 15 degrees and it was snowing. Three months before she was diagnosed with ALS, she climbed up on the roof of her RV to patch a spot. She was a better driver than my dad. She won numerous driving contests with their RV. She was a better wood worker than my dad. She taught my son as much as she could about home maintenance. She knew someone in the family should know it.She taught both me and my children to have a strong work ethic.

I miss my mom every day, but I know this Mother’s Day (like the last 7) she is spending it with her mother. I miss you Mom!

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2 thoughts on “To My Mother – Doris Carlson

  1. For obvious reasons, I had to wait a bit before I could read this. But such a beautiful tribute to your mother! Oh, how I miss mine. My relationship with my mom was also fraught with arguments and frustration. But, unlike you and your mom, my mom and I were very much alike in so many ways. It’s no wonder we butted heads so frequently!!

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